he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I am one with the molecules
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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