i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
