3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
