Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
