you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize