We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
