If i come over, it means nothing
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
