I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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