WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
