in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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