If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Such a big mess for such a small penis
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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