You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
