You're completely useless in the revolution.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Randomize
