omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
