the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
