um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
