one two three fourrrrnication!
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
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bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
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Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well