I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
