I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
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I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
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he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.