We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
