Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
its not stalking. its research.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
