i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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