why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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