He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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