I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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