I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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