I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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