Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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