Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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