Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
