sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
