...so i touched it.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
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i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
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he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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