On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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