Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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