I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize