great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
What drink are we having for lunch?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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