I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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