I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
