is wine microwaveable?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.