she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records