The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
