Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
