I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
