you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
