normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
