Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
