He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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