Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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