I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
