I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.