you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying