No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
