Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
