jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I CAN MOONWALK!
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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