I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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