no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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