So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
