these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
