Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
