i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
