watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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