I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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