new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize