I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
