sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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