Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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