I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Did you pee in the oven last night??
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
